Healthy Boundaries

Wow! It has been weeks since I last posted an entry. I have a lot of drafts awaiting review, but I am still finding the best time to squeeze them in my current schedule. Apologies for my inactivity for the past weeks, but it has been a very, very busy start of the year for me. But let’s get down to business, and I should now stop making alibis. 😁

Since this is my year-opener post for 2017, kindly allow me to start the year with a tita post. Hahaha! Yep, I am a self-confessed tita. And yup, this post is going to be a long one.

Today I am writing about healthy boundaries, and share with you the limits I set to myself, my relationships, and some of the things I do.

Let’s start with my own boundaries. I love staying within the borders of my comfort zone. Who else would not want to, right? It would not be your comfort zone if it does not provide you the sense of comfort to be in that place or state. But no matter how we want to be stuck in there forever, there will come a time when it would need to be expanded, or we would need to take a big leap of faith to explore the bigger world outside it to enable us to grow more, and learn more. But to be honest, I do not always have the courage and determination to leave my safe zone, because just the thought of it scares me already, and the uncertainty that comes with it does not make me sleep at night. It is very hard for me to do something beyond what is already familiar, comforting and routinary. But because at some point, we all have to be responsible adults, I do not have a choice but to start #adulting, and move beyond my safety net. But I do it slowly. From being the super sheltered hatid-sundo grade-schooler/high school student, to being a kolehiyala in  Baguio City, and now a working girl braving the “real world” plus the Manila traffic and MRT rides, I made it a point to start slowly but surely, and I always remind myself to make calculated risks only. Change is stressful; I do not want to make the situation and the feeling worse by adding pressure to myself. I would rather take things one step at a time in achieving what I want for myself. After all, what is important is that I know I am continuously moving forward. It may take some time, sure, but at least I am doing it at my own pace, and I am enjoying my own ride.

When it comes to relationships, I highly value the people around me. I would do everything that is within my control to keep my relationships intact and healthy.

  • Relationship with my parents. Whenever our parents become hard headed 😂, my brothers and I would reprimand them but still with respect and love. We still know our boundaries as their children, and we ensure not to cross that line.
  • Relationship with my siblings. We share secrets, but we still respect each other’s privacy.
  • Relationship with my boyfriend. With my relationship with Pablo, we know our limits, and we are not rushing into things. At present, we enjoy being each other’s constant (pig-out buddy, travel date, plus-one, cheerleader, supporter, fan, etc.). We both know that we are still young, we have plenty of goals to achieve, and so we are not putting any pressure in our relationship. And I must say, I am not only in love with him, but I am also in love with the relationship we have.
  • Friendship. When it comes to my friends, I can say that I am lucky because I have very diverse circles, but none of them are bad influence. Some have vices, most do not have. But I am glad I do not feel the need to conform to peer pressure.

With my job, as much as possible, when I get home, or if it is a holiday or the weekend, I try my best not to work. Okay, fine, I still check emails, but it stops there…unless there is really something urgent. ✌🏻

With my goal of having an always-beach-ready body, as much as I want to do my workouts religiously, when I am dead tired, I take my much needed break, and just rest and pig-out. I learned that doing my workout is more enjoyable when I do not need to force myself. 🙂

When I am out and having some adventure, I always check first if I can do the extreme stuff. I am a yes-girl most of the time, but if I think I cannot handle the situation, I do not hesitate to say no.

We could only do  so much, and we cannot be everything all at once, and the beauty in having boundaries is it keeps us in a proper pacing, and it enables us to try things when we are really ready for them. But boundaries can be limiting at times. That’s why knowing what our boundaries are gives us a sense of awareness on where we are right now, and helps us evaluate up to what extent we can stretch our borders. It also helps us in realizing what direction we should be heading to, and where we could still enhance our potentials.

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